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How to Celebrate Like a Pro (When You’re of Age)

How I spent yesterday afternoon:

Just fair warning, this post is done tongue-in-cheek, so nobody get worked up.  And don’t read past this if you’re not 21 because it’s illegal and your eyes will burn with sin.

Source: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images North America

Johnny Gomes celebrating the A’s remarkable Division Championship run, double-barrel action with Chandon Brut.  $10.  Would you expect more from the impoverished Athletics?

Granderson being interviewed while Chris Dickerson and Clay Rapada celebrate over a couple cans of Bud heavy—the King of Beers for the Kings of the AL East, though you can see in the background that Budweiser paid for that placement.

Source: (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Ichiro going absolutely nuts with a bottle of California’s own Mumm Napa Brut Prestige, surprisingly would only set you back $19.99 with valid identification.  Now, I don’t mean to speculate, but is this not a hint at some deep-rooted financial troubles in the Bronx?  Wouldn’t you expect a little more class from the Pinstripes?  Moet?  Dom Perignon?  Is that luxury tax finally catching up with the mighty Bombers?

Source: JULIAN H. GONZALEZ

Prince Fielder and Justin Verlander looking like a couple of wiseguys smokin’ stoges.  Verlander watching his figure, throwing back a Corona Light.

Photo: AP

Jayson Werth celebrating safely with Scott brand ski goggles.  Yes, I’m even doing goggles—slow night in the city.

Source: AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

Strasburg taking a barley pop to the face.  Miller Lite twist top can?  Questionable move from the Nats here, especially since I see no one using the caps to prevent spillage.

Source: The Enquirer/Cara Owsley

Zach Cozart and a teammate celebrate the Reds Division title with some Bud heavy tallboys.

Source: Pool/Getty Images North America

Can’t make out the champagne unfortunately, but Pablo is rocking Danny Kass’ Signature Oakley goggles as he goes in for the real thing with Sergio Romo.

You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to find some good photos of these celebrations.  The photojournalists bust their butts for us all year, then take the night off on Tarp-the-Clubhouse Night?  Strange.

Now it’s time for an incredibly competitive playoff.

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